Today I am getting my hair done… for the first time since February. For those that don’t know me, I have been blonde 😉 since grade 8, and except for a couple of darker moments in my life, I have remained blonde ever since.
So today is significant because a piece of normalcy is returning. A piece that has been missing for months due to Covid 19. My hair, like other parts of my life, have somehow become frozen markers of BEFORE the world stopped. The roots have become almost a proud measure of how long I haven’t left my home, or city to do much of anything. The studio is just opening slowly with only private lessons being allowed at this time (do NOT get me started on the WHY of this vs. other competitive sports that have been permitted to resume their schedule with modifications, but let’s just say that the definition of ‘athlete’ that is being used does not include dancers!). But I digress… the calendar at the studio is still showing March with all of its highlights: Showcase, March Break, our first competition. Frozen in time. My closet (I am ashamed to say) still has my jacket I wore at showcase folded on a shelf (it should be hung up), new shoes intended to be worn at comp sit sadly abandoned, and tops to perfectly compliment the shoes (isn’t that how we all shop?), remain hanging with the tags still attached. Frozen.
Today I have felt a moment of not wanting to move forward. Stay here, in this moment. Safe. Frozen. And it isn’t because I am afraid of catching the virus. It is because of the many unknowns of what the future holds. What WILL dance classes look like this year? Next year? How will my students fair without their second home as they remember it, without their friends and dance families to lean on? How will my staff and business make out in this new world and economy? There are so many questions, and unfortunately the answers are few and far between.
The great Alanis Morrisette once sang ‘The only way out, is through.’ And so today the way through has begun. My roots will be covered, the jacket will be hung up, and the tags are being ceremoniously removed from my new top. I am not sure if I am ready to wear my new shoes (I think they must be saved for a day at competition). I’m not sure if I am quite ready to wipe down the March calendar in the studio… but I know I will be. Soon. The future, although undoubtedly will look different, will be great! All the moments at the studio we took for granted, we will relish! We will get to dance again, and really, that is what has been missing most in my life these past few months. So, together, let’s get over the fear of ‘the new normal’, and remember that it is only the new normal FOR NOW. Things will continue to get better, we will adapt, and the frozen moments will melt away. Just like my roots, this, too, shall pass.